How hard can sharing be?

My girlfreind has been living with me for a month now.
I just gave myself up, caught red handed.
She is living with me, not me living with her, even less us living together.
She is in my house, sleeping on my bed, eating off of my plates, using my towels...
How hard can sharing be?

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my girlfriend!
I have no objections of us being together under the same roof, au contraire.
I support it, desire it, enjoy it very much too!
So why can't I simply say "our" to everything?!
Believe me, I have to focus on these moments, cause "my" comes out very easily.

It's easy to refer to us when put in the future tense: Our kids, with our house, and our lives, etc.
Present tense, I struggle, and it hurts.
Simply because she doesn't share, she gives.
I receive...and keep receiving.
How hard can sharing be?

Of course she's investing.
I'm aware of that, as well as the common hope: To receive more than invested.
and as well as the common theory: The more you invest the more you retrieve.
She needs to start receiving or I 'll pay a steep price.

Truth be told, Of course I know the reason...

How hard can sharing be?
Less than living with fear.
And even lesser than living with regret.

As I'm listening...

...to Ladytron's new album I close my eyes. I'm very sleepy since I woke up so damn early, so I start to fall asleep. Still in the limbo between reality and dream I see your face, smiling beautifully. Of course I should, since you were the one that introduced and inspires me into the alternative world. It's a small detail, one I never shared and never thanked you for it.

Thank you very much!

You...

...have been on my mind for many days, weeks actually.
I miss you, very much infact.
I miss what we had, even what we could have.
I miss how you made me feel, and how you felt.
I miss listening to you, as well as you listening to me.
I miss my best friend, even with out the vice-versa.

You also have been on my mind for weeks, months actually.
I do not miss you, as a matter of fact.
I do not miss what we had, even what we could have.
I do not miss how you made me feel, and how you felt.
I do not miss listening to you, as well as you listening to me.
I do not miss being your friend, even with the vice-versa.

You too have been on my mind for months, years actaully.
I miss the you that should have been, very much infact.
I miss what we could have had, especially what we should have had.
I miss how you made me feel, and especially how I should have felt.
I miss listening to you, especially you listening to me.
I miss paying attention to my elder, and especially the vice-versa.

PS: I love you all, always will.

I'm having...

...esoteric desires,
clouded thoughts,
scrambled ideas,
and odd plans.
All at the same time,
out of order,
with no connections...
Argh!!
Yet there's a soothing feeling behind all this.
I'm certain of every single one of them (desires, thoughts, ideas, plans).
An abstruse certainty.
Abstruse for this moment, as most are...
My virgo patience is most often rewarding.

ab·struse

ab·struse  [ab-stroos]
–adjective
1.
hard to understand; recondite; esoteric: abstruse theories.
2.
Obsolete. secret; hidden.

[Origin: 1590–1600; Latin abstrūsus, past participle of abstrūdere, to hide : abs-, ab-, away; + trūdere, to push; see treud- in Indo-European roots.]

—Related forms
ab·struse·ly, adverb
ab·struse·ness, noun

—Synonyms 1. incomprehensible, unfathomable, arcane.
—Antonyms 1. clear, uncomplicated, simple; obvious.